I’ve Never Met Myself

             After 20 years being alive , i discovered that i wasn’t actually alive . All i have done for all these years is doing what anybody does as eating , sleeping , talking …

            All what i was doing is outside my real world , some basics that serve my physical body , i wasn’t me . I was just a creature that cares much about others and how they see me , my happiness was attached to them in some way that i couldn’t explain it . I forgot that i’m enough for myself .

            When i set to think about my life , i find myself thinking about how i feel and what i’ve been through, But honestly , i’ve never even thought about what’s inside me .

            My 20 birthday was different than any past year . This year , i didn’t feel happy because i’m getting older . i feel more wise than before , my vision is more wide than before , my choices are clear now . I don’t know how that happened but i’m really glad that i’m not like the girls in my age . At the age of 20 , i don’t care about fashion , makeup or even BEAUTY .

            It’s hard to remember when was the last time i sat by myself in a productive silence to think about me . I feel that i don’t really know who i am , and if i don’t know myself well , how can i know others or even love them ?

            My 24 hours are full of studies and some essential activities , i don’t give time to myself . I think it’s the worst thing i do . Maybe this is why i feel sometimes upset and unsatisfied .Because i’ve never met myself .

           " Many people die before they become alive " , and i don’t want to be one of them . My journey has just began . 

            My second bloggiversary was in February 21 and i couldn’t post anything , i know that i was absent for long time but i was very busy with my studies . I’m really sorry , i’ll try my best to post more often.

          If you have a story like mine or you want to join to this journey let me know in the comments or on my social media so that i can write more posts like this . My instagram :@xo.emybel